I still love you (Dovewing x Tigerheart)
by Written Scribbles
Summary: When Dovewing finds her heart is calling her elsewhere than ThunderCLan, where a dark tabby tom awaits her with open arms, she follows that heart instead of common sense. But once she is placed with the punishment of his kits, new problems arise. How will she care for them? What will she tell Tigerheart, and more importantly, her own Clan? Rated T just in case. Rate and Review!
1. Lost and Found

Dovewing

_Why are you still in my thoughts and in my dreams? I thought I moved on from you…but I guess I haven't. _Dovewing stared at the sky as she sat in camp, her tail twitching and thoughts clouded with that one cat: that one handsome, caring, wonderful ShadowClan tom that she still hadn't moved on from. _Why, Tigerheart, why do I still love you? _

The pale gray she-cat was snapped out of her own little world as her Bumblestripe approached her, sitting beside her.

"Hey, Dovewing. What's wrong? You seem a little out of it today."

"Wh-what? What do you mean? I'm perfectly fine," she announced, her heart falling inside. _I know I love you, but I can't. I mean…Bumblestripe…would be crushed. I couldn't do that to him. Is it bad that I really, really want to?_

"Well, you did miss Squirrelflight calling you for a patrol, you know," the tom stated with a purr, smiling at her. "Come on, we're going hunting with Birchfall, Rosepetal, Cinderheart, and Lionblaze."

"Oh…um…can you tell Squirrelflight I'm not feeling well? I…my stomach is hurting. I think I hate something bad."

Concern flitted across Bumblestripe's gaze. "Yeah, okay. Are you all right? Do you need me to stay with you?"

"N-no! No, thank you Bumblestripe. I think I just need to rest." Dovewing stood up, heading towards the warrior's den.

"Are you sure? I could keep you company!"

Annoyance prickled at the tips of Dovewing's pelt. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? She flicked her tail dismissively. "I'm fine. I just don't feel up to hunting today." She kept her thoughts to herself, the thoughts that she needed to see Tigerheart, and needed to see him now.

Once comfortably settled in her nest, she twitched her ears and closed her eyes, listening hard for the retreating paw steps of the patrol. Finally, she would be alone, where she could have her thoughts in peace. But…it wouldn't be peace. She knew this, and her heart longed to be back with Tigerheart, talking and being in love with him. Dovewing sighed, opening her eyes. That was it. She was going out to see him now. However, with the patrol gone and ThunderClan thinking she was ill, she would have to sneak out.

Peering outside of the den entrance, Dovewing tasted the air to check for any signs of cats heading her way. It looked as though no one was paying attention to her, since everyone had their own things to do, and had their own business to take care of. She drew her attention to Sandstorm, who had retired to the elder's den as the shock of Firestar's death had left her unable to attain to her duties. But she didn't have time to grieve with the elderly cat; she had her own things to do.

Padding quietly past the elder's and medicine cat's den, Dovewing held her breath and squeezed her way into the dirtplace. As Blossomfall was guarding the entrance, there was no getting past her. Out of worry, Bumblestripe had probably already told the entire Clan about her "illness," even though they had probably ignored him anyways. He was always rambling on about her in some way or other, about some accomplishment she had made or something amazing she had done. It was sweet, in a way, but also really irritating.

Once out in the forest, Dovewing crept around the trees and brush to avoid Blossomfall's scent range. Obviously the warrior she-cat wasn't paying attention or she was distracted with something else, as the sneak around her was easy and not a problem whatsoever.

Picking her way over the undergrowth Dovewing broke into a run, streaking across the forest and to the marshlands. Once at the border of ShadowClan, she let her senses explore, shutting her eyes and hoping to see Tigerheart approaching, alone. Suddenly, the camp opened up before her and she saw it. Blackstar was talking to Rowanclaw, but she couldn't hear as his words were quiet. She searched around the camp and saw a few mewling kits in the nursery-Kinkfur must have birthed already. Eventually she found him; Tigerheart was talking to Dawnpelt, and she could barely make out what they were saying, but she could still hear it.

_"So," Dawnpelt was saying. "Tigerheart, you and I both are getting older, with each season that passes. Don't you think it's about time you settled down with the she-cat of your dreams?"_

_ Tigerheart sighed. "Dawnpelt, I've told you before that I haven't found that cat yet. There's no one in ShadowClan that I could even think about being mates with."_

_ "Well, what about…Applefur? She seems to like you."_

_ The strong tom sighed again. "No…she's just not right for me. Look, can we talk about this later? I want to go for a walk. I don't know…I could lead a one-cat border patrol or something."_

_ "I could go with you," his sister offered._

_ "No. I think I just want to go alone."_

_ "Okay. Be safe, all right? Do you promise?"  
>Tigerheart purred. "I promise. Don't worry, I'll be fine. The Clans have been closer than ever since the battle with the Dark Forest. Besides, most cats are still recovering. I doubt anyone would pick a fight with me."<em>

_ "Fine. Come back soon, then."_

_ "I will!" Tigerheart called._

Shaking her head, Dovewing snapped herself out of ShadowClan. "He's coming this way!" Butterflies appeared in her stomach and her paws started tingling. "I can…see him." So, she backed into the bushes to wait for him, to wait for the one she truly loved and never would stop loving. She waited for Tigerheart.

It seemed like moons passed for the eagerly waiting Dovewing, but finally she could hear his pawsteps. Though he was a strong and heavy cat, he trod lightly on the marshlands, his pace swift. However, his nose twitched and he paused at the border.

"Who's there?" The muscular tabby tom called, his voice in a growl.

Dovewing took a deep breath and appeared from behind the tree she had been taking refuge in, and Tigerheart's face changed. It wasn't surprise, joy, fear, or desperation…but sort of like a mix of all of them. "D-Dovewing…" he stammered. "What are you doing here?"

"Tigerheart…" Dovewing trailed off, taking a step towards him, but not going any closer. She sighed and stared into his eyes, his brilliant amber eyes. They were fierce like a tiger, but she really knew him. He was soft, and gentle, like a kitten. "I still have feelings for you, okay? I always have. I've never stopped loving you and even though we're not in the same Clan, I want to be with you."

"Well," Tigerheart began, his voice and gaze not changing. "I do too." With a soft smile, he stepped towards Dovewing and nuzzled her. Warmth spread through the she-cat from her head to the tips of her paws, and she shivered at his touch. "I've missed you, Dovewing. Back when you were Dovepaw. I don't know why we ever stopped seeing each other."

"Me neither. But Tigerheart, I can't stay. Bumblestripe and the rest of the hunting patrol will be coming back to ThunderClan soon. They'll be wondering where I am. But, can I see you tonight? At the gathering island? No one will suspect us, since that place is always filled with the scents of cats."

To her pure delight, the dark tabby nodded. "Of course. I'll see you tonight, Dovewing. I love you."

His words sent another shiver through her spine. "I love you too, Tigerheart. I always have."

As the tom padded away from her, she watched him leave, a smile seeming to be permanently planted on her jaw. As soon as she could no longer see him, she, too, turned around and headed back to ThunderClan, racing back through the trees to beat the patrol back. She would see him again tonight. That was too great to express in words. _I love you, Tigerheart. I really do. _


	2. Pregnancy?

**Tigerheart**

It was almost midnight, and I could no longer see the stars above me, and the pale outline of my own paws beneath me was barely visible, too. This was a dark night, one of the darkest I've ever remembered, and I was impatiently waiting for Dovewing to come. _Did she bail on me? _I thought as I paced back and forth, my whiskers twitching to sense the air around me as I was careful not to crash into anything. A rustle in a nearby bush alerted me, and I snapped my attention to it, the hairs along my spine prickling and my claws sliding out of their sheaths.

"Who's there?" I snapped angrily, tense.

Dovewing popped her head out of the bush, and her eyes lit up as she saw me. "Tigerheart!" she called, bounding over and tackling me. "It's so good to see you."

I blinked in surprise, smiling and purring at her arrival, even with the wind knocked out of me. I would never tell her this, of course-but she's a lot heavier than she seems when you first meet her, or even see her. "Dovewing," I replied, and couldn't help but purr at her approach.

Even if things between us had been hostile lately, I really never did stop loving her, and I never would. She really understood me-really got me. I guess I could also relate to her, never feeling like I truly fit in. I mean, my brother, Flametail, drowned, so most cats took pity on me. Also for the fact that I was named after my dead grandfather Tigerstar. And her, well, she had powers. That made her different from everyone else. But not to me. To me, she was just cute, bubbly, sweet Dovewing, not the Dovewing who saved us all. Not the Dovewing who had freaky weird powers and a power-hungry sister. She was just Dovewing. My Dovewing.

My thoughts were interrupted as she licked my nose, speaking to me again. "Sorry I was so late. Bumblestripe would not fall asleep, and he kept watching me and asking if I was all right." She rolled her eyes.

Even though I knew she didn't love him, I bristled at that stupid tom's name. For a while, I thought I would have competition. After Dovewing and I thought we couldn't be together-an idiotic decision- she started getting…friendly with him. Too friendly for my liking, in any case. "Yeah. Toms can be idiots that way."

This earned me a giggle, and I smiled. "Hey, Tigerheart, remember when we used to always play together when I was still Dovepaw?"

I nodded and grinned at her. "How could I ever forget? Those were the happiest times of my life. Anytime I spend with you is the new happiest day of my life."

"Me too," she agreed without hesitation. As she lay down beside me, I could feel the warmth of her thick pale pelt spreading through me. She rested her head on my shoulder, and sighed deeply. "Tigerheart?"

"Yes?" I replied.

"Will you stay here, with me, just for one night?"

"Always, Dovewing. Always."

**Dovewing**

It had been two moons since Dovewing had spent the night with Tigerheart on the Gathering island, and she had seen him almost every night since, slipping out of camp while everyone else was asleep to visit the dark tabby tom. No one seemed to notice, and no one seemed to care, either. But that was quite okay with her. She had had enough attention from ThunderClan for a lifetime. The pale she-cat awoke one frosty fall evening and stretched, yawning and exposing her white fangs.

Last night had been great-she and Tigerheart had been talking again, like they always did nowadays. He had told her she was beautiful, the most beautiful she-cat he had ever seen in his life, in fact. Those words sitting in her head still made her paws seem to tingle with happiness, and it seemed as though she would never forget that.

The brush of a tail-tip along her shoulder made her jump, as she had been so lost in her thoughts that she forgot she was standing just outside of the warrior's den.

"Morning, Dovewing," Ivypool greeted with a drowsy yawn.

"Hey, Ivypool," Dovewing returned with a curt nod of her head. "How'd you sleep last night?"

"I was fine. How about you? I mean, you weren't in the den last night." Ivypool stared at her questionably. "Where were you?"

"Me? Uh…er…I was…um…"

Ivypool smiled. "It's okay. I know where you were."

"You…you do? And you're not mad, or anything?" Dovewing tipped her head, then added quickly, "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"Oh, Dovewing, everyone knows already."

"W-what?"

"Yeah. You were out last night with Bumblestripe, right? Probably talking about the you-know-whats."

"Bumblestripe?"

"Yeah, he wasn't in the den either. That's where you two were, right?"

"Wait…talking about what?"

Ivypool lowered her voice to a whisper. "The _kits, _silly!"

"K-kits?" Dovewing opened her mouth. "What? I'm not…I'm not pregnant!"

"Oh, come on," Ivypool huffed. "It's so obvious. You're as fat as a badger and you haven't eaten more than any cat in the Clan. Also, you and Bumblestripe have been closer than ever lately. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.

_K-kits? I'm…pregnant? But…who…wait. They must be Tigerheart's. _


	3. The Gathering

Dovewing's P.O.V.

It had been about a month since I had found out I was going to be a mother to Tigerheart's kits. And, well, he still didn't know yet. I didn't plan on telling him, and I had specifically requested to not go to the Gathering tonight. Firestar had agreed, probably because he thought I wanted to stay with Bumblestripe, who was also staying behind tonight. But that wasn't the reason. I just didn't want to face Tigerheart. I didn't want to tell him. What if he hated me for it? What if he never wanted to see me again? If that was going to happen, I at least wanted to delay it, and love him for a little longer.

I paced in the nursery, finally settling down in the nice moss bed that Jayfeather had made for me. I rested my head on my paws and curled my tail neatly around my nose. I tried to sleep, but there was too much on my mind these days for even any thoughts about rest. I could hear footsteps approaching the nursery, but I ignored them- I had been trying to avoid speaking to anyone for the past weeks.

To my dismay, the cat I would least want to see at the moment appeared at the entrance. It was Bumblestripe, and he didn't have that happy look that he usually did. He was frowning, and his tail was lashing.

"So, Dovewing," he stated with a small growl. "You're expecting kits."

I nodded, tensing a little. He was never this angry, never sounded this way. "Yes, I am. Is that a problem?"

"Well, a little. Whose are they? They're certainly not mine. And if they're not mine, they wouldn't be any other ThunderClan cat's kits. No one else in this Clan loves you that much, or that way."

"How do you know? Are you a stalker to my life or something?" I retorted, baring my teeth at him. My claws were sliding out of their sheaths, and I would use them if he came any closer. I didn't love him. I never had, and I never would. I loved Tigerheart, always and forever.

"Please, Dovewing, we both know that's not true. But if they were another ThunderClanners, wouldn't the father have come and claimed them by now? You know, stuck around for you, been with you? Also, I've been hearing rumors they're mine. And I'm pretty sure they're not."

"Go away, Bumblestripe. It's none of your business." He would never guess, and he didn't need to know.

"Are they, perhaps…Tigerheart's?"

Tigerheart's P.O.V.

I stood on my toes, hopping back and forth anxiously. Where was she? She always came to the Gatherings. I knew that for a fact. She came to see me, and I came to see her. But when ThunderClan entered, she wasn't among them. I didn't see any friendly face pushing through the crowd to greet me. Why was she absent tonight? Was she ill? Was she hurt? I almost yelled her name, but closed my jaws and decided against it. What would the other cats think if a ShadowClan tom started yelling for a ThunderClan she-cat? It would raise suspicions, and I'm sure that Dovewing wouldn't like it, nor would I. I was going to look for her myself, but at that moment Firestar cleared his throat to speak. Stupid kittypet. He always thought he was so important, he could do anything he wanted, like start Gatherings too early. I hated that cat.

"ThunderClan has delightful news. We have a new queen!"

I could see the smiling of the joyous cats in the Clan, while Ivypool was giggling about something to Cinderheart. I didn't pay much attention. New kits didn't concern me, if they weren't from my own Clan.

"Dovewing is expecting!"

Now I was listening. Did he just say…Dovewing? As in, the cat I'd been searching for tonight? No…that couldn't be true. She wasn't having kits. I thought she loved me, not some other tom from her Clan. What…why…why would she do this to me? Who was her mate? That idiot Bumblestripe?

My now desperate eyes probed the crowd to search for the tabby tom. He wasn't here either. Coincidence? I think not.


	4. Deals and promises

**A.N. Sorry it's been so long since I updated. Life has kept me on my toes! But it's back now, and I'll try to update more frequently now. I promise! :)**

**Also...last time, Dove had first person point of view. Sorry, mistake! XD That was meant to be third. So without further ado...**

**Dovewing**

"Ouch!" The gray she cat hissed as she stubbed her toe on a rock. It wasn't fun, this past month, gaining weight so rapidly. Though she wasn't as fat as she could be, Dovewing could already feel the increase of pressure on her ankles. And it wasn't fun in the least, being in this state of vulnerability. She hadn't been able to much of anything recently, and had been absolutely restricted by Jayfeather of doing anything outside of camp. That meant no more hunting or participation in battles until the kittens were even apprenticed, at the worst possible circumstance. That would be awful.

The previous day, when Bumblestripe had confronted her, she had in reality been terrified of the outcome. He would for sure have sold her out with pent up anger at her betrayal to Jim and the Clan. But he did the unexpected. He surprised her, to say the least. After all, he had just smiled at her and shook his head. Giving her a small speech of discipline, he then offered to be the fake father of her kits so as to protect her from the Clan's wrath. Then, he said, he might be able to at least pretend in his mind that it was him she loved.

After that, Dovewing almost wished he had been angry, has screamed at her and threatened her. Then, at least, she wouldn't be feeling these needles stabbing at her heart so intensely. Guilt. He was so innocent and sweet, and would stand by her side forever. That was what true friends now, but the impregnated female didn't feel like such a loyal friend at the moment.

Glancing at the sun with lids partially saving her eyes from the blinding capabilities of the sun, Dovewing twitched her ears as she could hear footsteps approaching the nursery, where she sat just outside. Bumblestripe, perhaps? Not interested in talking to him, she had strong urges to ditch where she was and make a getaway. But that would be a bad friend action, proving her point against herself. Besides, she owed him this. This of many things.

However, to her shock, her false mate was not the one heading her way. It was Ivypool, her spotted pelt distinct to the brown of the dirt beneath her paws. Looking down to meet her sister's eyes, Dovewing forced a smile.

"You're lying to me." Ivypool didn't return the cheer, obviously.

"Excuse me?"

"Please, Dovewing. Are you pulling a Leafpool?"

"What?" Pulling a Leafpool? That was new.

Ivypool groaned. "Telling lies about your kits? I _know _you, mouse brain. And I also know that you and Bumblestripe-" She flattened her ears. "-aren't a thing."

With a hiss, Dovewing drew her tail close to her paws. "What are you talking about? Of course we are. I l-l-love...him."

The stubborn she wasnt convinced. "Please. That was the worst attempt at faking love ever. Why would you lie to me, Dovewing? Before yesterday, you always hid from that tom you claim to now be mates with. We would gossip about who you could actually love, because it wasn't him!"

Dovewing opened her mouth, staggering a yawn to make herself feel a little tired. "I'm sleepy. You have to leave now."

"No! You have to be honest with me first. I'm your sister."

"Right, and you were so truthful when you took little visits to the Dark Forst, were you? When you went there every night and blamed your scars on nonexistent thorns. Don't give me a lesson on honest until you can apply it to yourself."

This had hit the warrior hard. Ivypool took a sharp intake of breath, offended beyond comprehension. "That's not fair, Dovewing. I fixed that mistake." She leaned in close, and Dovewing could feel her breath tickling her ear. "Fix yours."

At that moment, a sharp pain was felt inside Dovewing. "Hey! Don't you be mad at me, too. You're not even born." Hissing at her kits, the she cat rested her head on her paws disappointedly.


	5. A threat to romance

**Tigerheart**

It had been about two months since I saw Dovewing. Well, almost two months. That meant she was a little over a month pregnant...with Bumblestripe's kits. I mean, I should have seen this coming. Of course she played me, didn't actually love me. It was probably some sort of joke she and her new mate procured just to aggravate me. Even though I was supposed to hate her, that I knew I should, it was so...hard. After all, she was my first love. She is my first love. I hadn't stopped loving her, even after what she's done. Even though I know she doesn't return the feelings.

Sun hits my barren pelt, breaking through the heavy clouds that have gathered overhead. I am lying in the dirt, my head rested on my paws, too sullen to do much of anything. I hadn't eaten since the gathering-that was two days in exact- and though the need for nourishment gnawed at my stomach, I didn't want to eat. I was hoping I'd starve to death. Then the pain would end eternally. I bet that would make that mouse brained fat queen happy, hearing of my death.

But I can't die. Because of Dawnpelt. I'm her only sibling left, after Flametail drowned. Without me to reassure and stand by her, she's practically alone. I mean, of course she has Tawnypelt, but parents aren't the same as siblings. Siblings are close. They're something you just can't give up.

SSpeaking of siblings. Dawnpelt approaches me, a concerned look on her face. Why can't she just leave me alone? Though I love her, I want to be alone with my thoughts and my doubts.

"Tigerheart, are you okay?" There's an edge of frustration in her mew. I haven't done much of anything lately. Of course she's annoyed.

"No. Go away."

She doesn't go away. Ugh. Sisters. They always want to comfort you. "I just don't understand.." she pauses for affect. "Why you're so upset. Before the gathering, you were completely okay. Did something there...hurt you? Did someone say something? If they did, I will be sure to rip out their-"

"No, no. I'm just not feeling myself lately, okay?" I stop her before it gets too gory.

"All right. Fine. You don't want help? Fine by me." Those words should be angry, but they're not. She just stands up and walks away.

Snowbird-ShadowClan's new deputy- calls my name, much to my dismay. "Tigerheart! You're needed on a hunting patrol with Redwillow, Ferretclaw, Ashenpaw and me."

"I don't feel like it," I grumble.

"And I don't care." She flashes me a cheeky smile. "I'm the deputy, and you have to do what I say. So get up off your butt and get on the patrol. M'kay?"

I stand up, still sulking. "I'm not in the mood."

Snowbird tips her head, faking inquiry. "I don't seem to remember anything about _mood _in the warrior code. Or...maybe I'm mistaken?"

Ashenpaw snickers behind the snowy-white deputy, earning a harsh nip on the ear from his mentor, Ferretclaw.

"Now," she continued with no gentleness in her voice. "I suggest you get moving. Unless that's against the warrior code too." With a slight smirk, Snowbird heads to the front of the patrol and takes off out of camp.

I roll my eyes, letting my paws drag the rest of my sunken shape after her and the three other toms. How rude of her. I just wanted to sulk in peace, but apparently that is completely against her agenda of things for me to do. What if she just lost her lover? I'd like to see her up and jumping on her feet.

Colors drag by slowly as I follow along, meandering after the hastened pace of the patrol. I can just barely see Ratscar's tail as he backs up the three ahead of him. But I'm still winning for the prize of last pace, and I don't plan on getting to the ear or even trying to hunt. Snowbird can make me move, but she can't make me try.

"Tigerheart, get it!" Her hiss rings in my ear as a frog leaps out of fear right towards me. It is so easy I can just taste it before it's even dead. But as it launches in my direction, ready to headbutt straight into my leg and knock itself out, I casually move to the side. The frog, with no obstacles in it's path, escapes to the safety of the marshy territory.

"Whoops. Oh, darn. It escaped." I shake my head in a pathetic, unbelievable state of disappointment, kicking my law across the mud. This ends up splashing some into Snowbird's face, muddying her perfect white fur. "Oh, clumsy me! Sorry, dear deputy."

"What are you doing?" Snowbird lashes her tail and stalks to me, wiping the mud off of her.

"Hunting," I reply innocently. "Unless that's...against the warrior code."

Ratscar and Ferretclaw exchange a look, in disbelief of my disrespect for my superior.

But then...she laughs. Snowbird actually _laughs. _She tips back her head in cahoots of joy, flicking my nose with her tail-tip. "Good one!"

"Wait...what?"

Shoulders still shaking from the remnants of her outbreak, she winks at me. "I don't know why you're so upset, but I do know why you have so many multi-Clan friends, Tigerheart. You're fun."

And then, all sorrow forgotten, I smile. Maybe this loss...won't be so bad.


End file.
